Cancer - 2026-01-11

"Beware, Cancerian, for on this day, a mysterious caller may drop like a cryptic bombshell in your ear, leaving you to unravel their tangled message like a puzzle wrapped in mystery and dread. Heed not the siren's call of 'who' might be behind it - instead, focus on the cosmic laundry that's been left at your doorstep: your own existential crisis. To soothe the anxiety, whip up a batch of 'Mystery Morsels' (a.k.a. a warm, comforting soup of self-doubt and unresolved issues) and serve them with a side of Zen-like detachment. After all, you can't un-listen to the universe's cryptic whispers - but you can masterfully feign ignorance."