Gemini - 2026-01-11

Beware, Gemini, for today's chaotic convergence is like a bad Tinder date – everyone wants your attention, but no one's willing to put in the effort to make it worthwhile. As the universe throws you a never-ending loop of "help me, help me" pleas and favor-seekers, remember that your sanity (and what's left of it) is worth more than any mortal burden. Prioritize those who are actually drowning in desperation, and politely decline the rest – after all, you can't be bothered with their existential crises when there are Netflix shows to binge and existential dread to manage.